I was watching the movie Imagine Me & You last night (a British film, not a big box office movie, but such a good one). Anyway, even though I've watched this movie dozens of times, something happened that often happens: I felt something click inside my head; something that speaks true (part of why I love watching all my movies over and again, because depending on my current life situation, they teach me something new).
The quote (or the part that hit me) is as follows: "We don't know, you can never be sure. . . Sure is for people who don't love enough." While the premise of the movie is about love, and about questioning who you love, I took this to mean so much more (but seriously, watch the movie anyway - so good and full of humor). I think what it means is that love is a leap of faith. If you have to wait until you're 'sure' then you don't love enough. It's hard to known things for certain and waiting until you're positive is wasting a lot of time.
After hearing it I think about my life and how the word "sure" is applicable. I always feel so uncertain about myself. The things I do, the things I say, second guessing them after they are already done, and I don't believe I've turned out to be a terrible person. Have I made mistakes? Absolutely, but I also know I've taken chances. And I also haven't taken chances. There are areas of my life where I need to risk more, instead of being afraid, instead of waiting to be sure. Of course this is easier said than done, but it I know I'll always being thinking about this quote whenever I don't take a chance. I know I'll always be kicking my own ass when I don't do something I want to do. I have to stop waiting for "sure" and just live. "Sure" is doubt, and I don't want my life to be nothing but voids filled with doubt. I want it to be full and without regret.
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Good, Decent, and Honest
Nature has shown us that animals who posses the flashiest of their spieces' characteristics are the ones who get the best and often first choice of mates. We've all heard of the term 'peacocking' which refers to wearing ridiculous get-ups to attract the attention of women, mimicked of course from the peacocks who try to impress peahens by fanning out their tails which are colorful and full. Naturally, the male with the best tail gets the best mates.
How does this translate into today's culture? It's exactly the same. Biological impulses program humans to be attracted to the most physically fit males because they are perceived as good providers, in another word, hunters. The same impulses make women with wider hips, bigger breasts, and an overall healthy look more attractive because nature is saying these are the women who are best fit for child bearing. Typically to go with this, these people are exceptionally attractive. Nature shows the one who is most attractive (symmetrical) often rises to the top, which is why it is natural to see attractive people as couples.
(Complete side note, but my theory on couples is as follows: if, on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being not all attractive and 10 being the most attractive, people will normally date or couple within a two number range of their own attraction number. So, if for example, someone is an eight, he or she may date someone who is an eight, seven, or nine. Have you ever looked at couples and thought, "wow, they almost look alike?" I see it all the time, and I think as couples get older together, they tend to continue to look more like the other. Very rarely do we see someone who is an eight coupled with someone who is a three. I suppose you could argue this is nature taking it's course).
Maybe it's just my experience, but usually how it works it, is the people who know they're attractive, trend toward being more selfish, self-involved, entitled, and a whole myriad of related terms because nature dictates they can hold out for the best because their 'peacock tail' always wins for them. Unfortunately, in my life and the lives of my friends and family, the peacocks with the flashiest of the flashiest tails are the ones who are selfish and mean. They leave a lot of disappointment when they show their true colors. I've been reminded a lot lately (indirectly) of how often these people show up, of how many there actually are. It also reminds me of how important it is to fill up my life with good, decent, and honest people and to strive to be a good, decent, and honest person.
As for me, I'm not looking for the flashiest mate. I'm looking for the honest one. The one who may back out of a fight, not because of cowardice, but for a purpose much greater and more meaningful than showing off his strength. Sometimes, a good person needs to be everything.
Whether you're in a relationship or not, try to find honest people, boyfriends, girlfriends, friends in general to surround yourself with. Life becomes so much for fulfilling.
How does this translate into today's culture? It's exactly the same. Biological impulses program humans to be attracted to the most physically fit males because they are perceived as good providers, in another word, hunters. The same impulses make women with wider hips, bigger breasts, and an overall healthy look more attractive because nature is saying these are the women who are best fit for child bearing. Typically to go with this, these people are exceptionally attractive. Nature shows the one who is most attractive (symmetrical) often rises to the top, which is why it is natural to see attractive people as couples.
(Complete side note, but my theory on couples is as follows: if, on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being not all attractive and 10 being the most attractive, people will normally date or couple within a two number range of their own attraction number. So, if for example, someone is an eight, he or she may date someone who is an eight, seven, or nine. Have you ever looked at couples and thought, "wow, they almost look alike?" I see it all the time, and I think as couples get older together, they tend to continue to look more like the other. Very rarely do we see someone who is an eight coupled with someone who is a three. I suppose you could argue this is nature taking it's course).
Maybe it's just my experience, but usually how it works it, is the people who know they're attractive, trend toward being more selfish, self-involved, entitled, and a whole myriad of related terms because nature dictates they can hold out for the best because their 'peacock tail' always wins for them. Unfortunately, in my life and the lives of my friends and family, the peacocks with the flashiest of the flashiest tails are the ones who are selfish and mean. They leave a lot of disappointment when they show their true colors. I've been reminded a lot lately (indirectly) of how often these people show up, of how many there actually are. It also reminds me of how important it is to fill up my life with good, decent, and honest people and to strive to be a good, decent, and honest person.
As for me, I'm not looking for the flashiest mate. I'm looking for the honest one. The one who may back out of a fight, not because of cowardice, but for a purpose much greater and more meaningful than showing off his strength. Sometimes, a good person needs to be everything.
Whether you're in a relationship or not, try to find honest people, boyfriends, girlfriends, friends in general to surround yourself with. Life becomes so much for fulfilling.
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